In case it’s slipped your mind, Apple’s doing their quarterly dance this evening at 5PM ET (2PM for you left coasters). And so, of course, what are all the papers talking about today? Projected quarterly earnings? Nah. Interesting tidbits Apple might let drop? Boring.
Apparently, in a surprise Arnold-Kim-reverse-move, investors have decided to become doctors. According to the reputable bastion of journalism known as the New York Post, investors are skittish about Stevie J.’s health. As you may remember, there was a big to-do at WWDC in June when many thought Jobs looked gaunt and skinny. In a rare move, Apple actually commented on the rumors, saying that Jobs had a “common bug” and was on antibiotics.
Such a non-denial did nothing to assuage the usually restrained media—instead, it just fanned the flames. What kind of common bug? Was Steve resting and drinking plenty of fluids? Getting enough Vitamin D?
I would be surprised to see Apple give the time of day to any who bring up such questions during today’s financial call (indeed, I imagine Tim Cook making a beheading gesture to the elite Apple ninja special ops team at his disposal). Not that that’ll stop the analysts from asking. This ought to be…entertaining.
Steve has already upped his caloric intake in anticipation of his next appearance on stage. When they roll him out, maybe people will shut up about how skinny he is. This is no mean feat for a pescatarian, that's why he's started so early.