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July 23, 2008

steve_jobs

Times says Jobs is fine, Apple has secret plan

Posted Jul. 23, ’08, 7:56 AM PT by Dan Moren
Category | Apple » Steve Jobs

Steve pointsThe Steve Jobs health craze continues! (Bloody hell, it’s more irritating than Atkins). Yesterday it was BusinessWeek; now, John Markoff at the gray lady herself weighs in on the issue with some illuminating details about Steve. Let me clip a couple of the relevant portions:

…in recent weeks, Mr. Jobs has reassured several people that he is doing well and that four years after a successful operation to treat a rare form of pancreatic cancer, he is cancer free.

People who are close to Mr. Jobs say that he had a surgical procedure this year to address a problem that was contributing to a loss of weight. These people declined to be identified because Mr. Jobs had not authorized them to speak about his health.

Oh, man. Those guys better hope he never finds them. Because then they won’t be “authorized” to speak about their own health—if you know what I mean. Because they’ll be dead. Because he’ll have them killed. Geez, people. So much for subtlety.

Markoff also says that Jobs was running a high fever the week before WWDC, but declined to cancel his appearance—probably a good move: you think the Internet gets crazy when Jobs “misses” a phone call that he never participates in anyway? You ain’t seen nothin’.

He’s also told members of Apple’s board that he’s having nutritional problems related to his cancer surgery (which, according to other sources I’ve seen, is not uncommon for that kind of procedure).

But perhaps most interestingly, the Times also writes:

The company has said that it has formulated a succession strategy in case Mr. Jobs left the company, but that it was confidential.

Oooooh: a secret succession strategy. That’s just too damn tempting. If that report were to somehow mysteriously find a way on to my desk, then somebody might find themselves in position to snag a bunch of vintage He-Man action figures. I’m just saying.


5 Comments

krye said:

Or, maybe he just has a crazy metabolism. Maybe he works like a dog, and does't sleep much. And is just a little run down from the pre iPhone 3G launch.

I'm 33 and I can't for the life of me keep my weight over 130 lbs. No matter how much I bulk eat, I just can't keep my weight up. Once I hit 132 lbs but fell back down to 130. If I get a cold I lose a few pounds. And in the summer, I'm no good with the heat, I tend to loose my appetite and then forget it, there's no way I'm hitting 130. Usually I sit around 128. I've had my thyroid checked and a full blood work-up and I'm perfectly healthy.

So maybe everyone is reading way to much into this. Maybe he's just a slender guy with a crazy metabolism.

July 23, 2008 9:04 AM
Dave-O said:

"So much for subtlety."

Heh, heh. "The Hammer is my..."

July 23, 2008 9:38 AM
CloneJobs said:

The SECRET Succession plan

1. There is a Jobs clone secretly being grown deep inside the Apple HQ in Cupertino.

2. If cancer returns, Jobs' brain will be removed and installed a self-propelled robot. He might look something like this.

http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/wall-e/

July 23, 2008 9:50 AM
Dave said:

@krye:

Wait til you hit 40. You're chances will go up that your metabolism will change and you will find yourself not able to eat like you used to.

Trust me on this.

July 23, 2008 10:11 AM
RalphM Author Profile Page said:

Dittos on the over-40 comment by @krye. I, too, could eat anything pre-40. Since then my weight rose from around 150 lbs to an average of 195 lbs. I'm now 53 and have a difficult time losing 10 pounds. Exercise and all different "diets" attempted. A few people don't experience this but, believe me, you will likely change your eating and exercise habits within the next 15 years. If you don't gain weight after 40, fantastic!

July 23, 2008 1:41 PM

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