In a kind of jackass move by Steve Jobs and Apple, the company is reportedly leaking information today about all their secret upcoming products to news outlets, blogs, and Mac rumor sites to confuse both readers and publishers who meticulously attempt to discern the real from the fake.
In an interview with CNBC, Jobs explained the rationale of this decision, assuring stock holders that rumor sites will now have a harder time spilling the beans on Apple’s future surprises:
Rumor sites leak details about upcoming products. People stop buying current products. Competitors start copying us. We get judged for a product that hasn’t even been announced. By covertly leaking details of all our secret projects today, editors will have a really difficult time figuring out in the future if leaks are real or just repeats of today’s “hoaxes.” Readers will be just as skeptical…they won’t know what we leaked and what someone thought we leaked but was actually just a fake. We couldn’t win with lawsuits…so we have to fight fire with fire.Now try to ruin my keynotes, [censored]!
Jobs then started cackling in a way that was honestly kinda rude, and called rumor sites an assortment of expletives before his mic was shut off.
I thought the jokes stopped at noon.
I thought April Fool's ended at noon?
ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE APRIL FOOLS. WE GET IT!
I am just going to stop reading you guys on April 1st.
This column was made possible by Karl Rove who served as a technical adviser in lying.