One of the most secret projects attempted by Cupertino was begun in the late eighties under the direction of then Apple CEO John Sculley, who leveraged the beverage experience acquired during his stint as head of PepsiCo. It was also one of the few projects begun by a prior chief executive that survived Steve Jobs’s return to the company in 1997. We give you…the iScotch.
Utilizing a secret laboratory in the Speyside region of Scotland, Apple engineers have been working for the past twenty years to create the ultimate in single malt scotch. Genetically engineered barley, imported peat, and a secret quadruple distillation process all give the iScotch its distinctive flavor, which features just a hint of apple.
“Delisssshus,” confirmed one insider who’d been an early taste tester of the batch. “I…I love you guys.” The iScotch will be issued in limited editions later this year (check under your seat at WWDC!), and will reputedly run $299 a bottle, but include no cables. Apple will also sell a pair of glasses for best enjoying the iScotch for $50 from the Apple Store.
Following the path of the Aperture Public Beta released last year, Apple will be running a unique beta test program for the iScotch. Bring your computer in for service at an Apple Store’s Genius Bar, and you may be randomly selected for a chance to try a shot (we hear that the louder you protest and yell about your computer being broken, the better the chance you’ll be selected, but you didn’t hear it from us).
If the reviews are positive, Apple may consider expanding the iScotch program by offering 3 year, 5 year, and 10 year varieties as well as the standard 15 year model.
happy april fools day! i sure do wish i could celebrate with a shot of that iScotch... ;)
Well, that explains why Apple quietly bought up Balvenie last year...
While many have jumped on the phrasing to claim that Apple is using the recently announced quad-still from InCocktail, the current batch of iScotch is still processed using dual dual-stills.