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March 7, 2008

rivals

Steve Ballmer is…the Cloverfield monster

Posted Mar. 7, ’08, 9:56 AM PT by Dan Moren
Category | Apple » Rivals

Steve BallmerIf Steve Ballmer doesn’t scare you, then you my friend, are doing something wrong. The Microsoft CEO sat down for a chat with tech evangelist and former Apple employee Guy Kawasaki, where they discussed Silverlight, the iPhone SDK, and Apple’s choice to license ActiveSync for the iPhone’s enterprise functionality.

But none of that prepared the assembled crowd for the horror that was to come. At the behest of an audience member, Ballmer leapt up to to reprise his famous Developers! rant. Shockwaves from the event rippled all the way to Tokyo, where the police were immediately put on Godzilla-alert. Seismologists monitoring the San Andreas fault were already reportedly halfway to Colorado, before being informed that it was a false alarm.

The terrifying spectacle was captured in part on one shaky-cam video, leading us to conclude, once and for all, that Steve Ballmer is the Cloverfield monster. After performing his little act, Ballmer demands retribution from the person who requested it. Allegedly, when the attendee refused to part with the $0.50, Ballmer promised to destroy him and his entire family.


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