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June 15, 2006

rivals

Gates debuts Microsoft PuppetMaster 2006

Posted Jun. 15, ’06, 3:27 PM PT by Dan Moren
Category | Apple » Rivals

Bill, at his most whimsicalIt was really only a matter of time before Bill Gates retreated from the limelight into the shadowy den he’s created for himself beneath his immense Washington state compound. By removing himself from his daily role as Chief Software Architect of Microsoft, he ensures that he will only be revealed to a select few—an upper echelon of hand-picked executives.

In the absence of the Microsoft founder and mastermind (no, not Paul Allen), Chief Technology Officer Ray Ozzie has assumed the role of Chief Software Architect, while Steve “Crazy Man” Ballmer—Microsoft’s Dick Cheney—remains on as Chief Executive Officer.

If nothing else, might this shed some light on the pictures we recently posted of Bill Gates with Apple CEO Steve Jobs? Could Bill have been demonstrating his Super Ninja Vanishing Technique? Could Steve have been applauding Bill’s diabolical masterplan?

Even though Gates is stepping down, he’ll still be a busy man. Maybe he’ll finally get around to answering those thousands of emails he gets every day. Maybe he’ll finally get a chance to hone his Xbox skills, playing live under his chosen handle, “Gates of Hell.” Maybe he’ll finally admit that his charitable organization, the Bill and Meldina Gates Foundation, is merely a front for a plot to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Then again, maybe I’m just jealous of his six hojillion dollars and now copious free time.

Nahhh.


1 Comments

Ira said:

Where's the funny?

June 16, 2006 5:59 AM

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