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April 10, 2007

ihnatko

Ihnatko: Sibling Rivalry

Posted Apr. 10, ’07, 12:45 PM PT by Andy Ihnatko
Category | Ihnatko

Folks speak of the “family” of Apple products. I’ve always mocked this notion because… well, sadly, because it’s my way.

But also because as one of five siblings I can say with confidence that true family members never get along this well. My iPod has never had to take my Powerbook aside and say “Look, I don’t know why you’re not communicating with the iMac and I don’t care. But maybe you should know that the iMac has been having a really tough time at work this week, and her old man forgot her birthday…”

They’re always there for each other, you see. I plug my iPod in and moments later, the two are completely in sync with each other. My siblings and I don’t have that sort of harmony. But then again, I suppose that the iPod never swiped all of the iMac’s Barbie dolls and buzzed off their hair so that they’d look like the chicks in “THX-1138.”

I’m starting to come around to the “Apples as family” concept, however. It’s obvious that cracks are finally starting to form in their cozy harmony. There’s no question about it: the Family is now dealing with Cindy Brady Syndrome.

You know, the kind of itchy, destabilizing stress that sneaks in when the youngest child is so much tinier and more adorable than the rest. “We love each of our kids the same,” Mom and Dad say. Nonetheless, all of the older kids are getting sensible clothes for Christmas (“See, sweetie? You can wear it to church, or school!”) while Cindy is outside burning donuts into the front lawn on her shiny red quad-bike.

The Curse of Cindy has been laid upon the Apple family… and Cindy’s name is iPod.

It became crystal clear to me the moment I laid eyes on the new Apple TV. For the third time in the company’s history, Apple has shipped a product that looked like a hot plate. Like the Mac mini and the latest Airport Extreme base station before it, you lift this product out of its box and you’re filled with an uncontrollable impulse to place a carafe of coffee on it. You instinctively worry if there’ll be enough fondue to go around for everybody. You wonder: how long will you be forced to press the prisoner’s hand onto its surface before he’ll tell you where the remaining two bombs are hidden? These are not pleasant things to be considering as you’re setting up a new piece of hardware.

But just look at that new iPhone! This thing’s physical form is no mere ill-fitting hand-me-down. It’s new, dazzling new, so brilliant that it administers blazing, spiteful headaches in all of the Apple products that aren’t pocket-sized media players and makes them want to tear their own eyes out to make it all stop.

And you don’t have to be an iPhone to get the Cindy treatment; everything in the iPod line wins fawning and obsessive love from Apple’s industrial-design wizards. The Nano is a sleek and compelling stick of gum, available in a range of clickable, lickable flavors. Even the freaking Shuffle (for God’s sake) had its Version 1 frumpiness shaken off of it. Once, the Shuffle was the iPod that you imagined your mother using. Now, it’s like Victoria’s Secret undies that you hope to never envision your mother wearing.

Meanwhile, Apple’s computers and peripherals are shuffling around in boring old hand-me-down designs, glumly wondering what they did wrong.

I mean, seriously. Remember when Apple CPUs looked like the result of some sort of glorious bar bet? “Fifty bucks says you can’t build a desktop that looks like this,” one product manager slurred to another, after slamming down his ninth tequila. And then he opened his salty fist to reveal the hat from a Mr. Potato Head. Seven months later, we had the first iMac… a design so radical and compelling that before long, you could actually buy toasters in iMac-inspired colors.

Today, the direction of Mac to Appliance inspiration seems to have been reversed. I only wish I could say that I’m just trying to extend my hotplate metaphor. But the sad fact is that the Mac Pro is a $2400 cheese grater. Apple has doted so indulgently on their precious little iPods that in all other endeavors they’ve been satisfied to be stuck with a reputation as a Maker Of Dull Gray Boxes.

Seeing a new Mac for the first time used to fill you with the same expectations as when you see a girlfriend or boyfriend naked for the first time: you’re hoping to be shocked and stunned by what you see. In a pleasant way, I hasten to add. You sure don’t want to wind up looking at a full-back tattoo of the cast of “Scooby Doo.” Still, you’re hoping to be confronted with something that fills your heart with a joyous sense of new adventure.

This was once precisely the feeling you got during those thrilling moments at an Apple keynote address, as you waited for the dry ice fog to clear so you could get your first look at a brand-new Mac. See if you can guess the CPU from the description:

“A tissue box frozen in a block of ice.” Yes, the G4 Cube.

“A civilian-replaceable power core from a flying saucer.” The Power Mac G3.

“A makeup kit, carried in the Hello Kitty backpack of a little Japanese girl.” The original iBook.

“(The sound of involuntary loss of bladder control.)” - The second-generation iMac.

Ah, yes: a thin translucent picture frame that hovered above a half a volleyball, suspended by a chrome arm. The screen floated above your desk, adjusting with just a fingertouch, staying precisely where you left it. The original iMac was revolutionary because it was so damned cool; the sequel raised the stakes by doubling the coolness and creating probably the single most practical and flexible desktop design in history.

Try to find that sort of confidence and exuberance in the current crop of Macs and you’ll go to bed hungry. It’s all about gray, white and black rectangles. Oh, for a bit of added decadence, Apple has rounded the corners off. But whereas once Apple was renowned for the sort of industrial leaps that the sane and the sober can’t even reckon, they now produce designs that could be drawn in seconds by any eighth-grader with a copy of MacDraw 1.0.

Coffee warmers and rounded rectangles. That’s what we’re stuck with. These days, we have to brag about the actual features of our computers, instead of just unrolling the poster and letting it induce all the required envy.

I don’t know how the Apple family is going to solve its Cindy problem. My personal solution was to take lots of pictures during the semester when our family’s Cindy made a terribly misinformed foray into goth, and to look at them every now and again whenever I foolishly resent the slick advantages she was given.

I don’t imagine that the iPhone will ever go out in public wearing runny clown makeup, but I bet that there’ll be a magazine photo of some former “Big Brother” castmember using one… and that’s probably nearly as effective for quelling your envy.


11 Comments

jackfrost said:

I would argue that at least the Macbooks are still innovative and unique. You can't really mess with the overall design of a laptop (clamshell lid, keyboard & trackpad), but Apple has done a great job of providing a convenient and practical-sized laptop that's just right. The keyboard is a real design feat, the iSight is perfect up at the top, and the magnetic latching system is a great touch. It seems that Apple isn't done innovating, so much as it has found a formula that works and is refining that.

April 10, 2007 1:22 PM
Dave Lacey said:

I disagree..while the original iMacs, Powerbooks, etc had very striking and original designs..they weren't neccesarily pleasing to the eye...whereas, I take out my 24 inch iMac and the first words out of my friend's mouths is "gorgeous". I think they're on the right track. The designs now aren't supposed to stick out as much as they're supposed to fit in.

April 10, 2007 1:33 PM
Dave said:

And don't forget that the current iMac form factor was inspired by the iPod!

I'm not sure that the market agrees, however. The MacBook Pro form factor (back when it was called the PowerBook) was lauded as the epitome of minimalist design. None of the decorative bulges or groves of other laptops. In fact, most of the Apple TV reviews have glowed about the form factor (honestly, I am rather bored of it and can't understand why it is so warmly received). It's not that they're ugly, but that they so old.

I take hope in John Gruber's prediction that Leopard will probably include a new appearance (all those images need to be recreated in scalable formats, after all), and that Apple's hardware often takes cues from its UI (my display still has pinstripes reminiscent of the original Aqua GUI, brushed metal hit the PowerBook, PowerMac, and Cinema Displays shortly after it appeared in the UI). So Leopard may be accompanied by some snazzy new hardware. If only there were some confirmation of the first part of the prediction...

April 10, 2007 1:37 PM
Moe said:

Man, this was great!! I laughed my @$$ off. I do agree, where is the new, intuitive, sexy iMac design? Where do they go from here? I see that Dell, Sony and others are playing pretty-it up with their desktops (somewhat).

I say, release Leopard running on a shiny new desktop with touch controls a la iPhone. Yup, this is innovation, and beauty.

April 10, 2007 2:06 PM
James "The Torpedo" Carey said:

I'm not convinced this article really makes any sense. You're impressed by the iMac, but complain about the other offerings. That leaves the Mac Pro - yes, it is very plain, but adding Apple to the "Maker[s] of Dull Gray Boxes"? Hardly. Brushed steel, confident lines, professional looking grille. It's not revolutionary, but the Power Mac G4 that's now the file server for my house has looks which are, well, plasticky. I love having it around but it isn't sleek, and the materials have discoloured with age. The Mac Mini - the looks of this machine reflect its role as a replacement machine for grey Windows boxes, and is cute and succinct. That leaves the notebooks, and the MacBook and MacBook Pro are indeed derivative of designs that aren't exactly new, but they incorporate great new features and design elements.

I think what this article reveals through its discussion of hardware design is the real problem facing Mac fans - the lack of new hardware. The Apple TV and Airport Extreme were clearly designed to be part of the same family, but they are not new Macs. It seems to me that what has really happened is that Ive and his team have matured. The eye catching designs of the 1999 iMac and iBook era have developed into subtle, understated forms which are perhaps pushing the balance of form versus function in the function direction. That doesn't warrant a polemic against Apple computer design at all, what it does warrant is simply adding another voice to the clamour for new hardware.

There's no real objectivity here, opinions are draped in desperate metaphors with no suggestion of balance. But then this is an opinion too - what can you do eh? I love the look of my MacBook Pro, loved the iBook G4 I had before that and the iMac G5 before that. I just feel that the general consensus is positive with regard to Apple hardware design, we just want some new examples.

April 10, 2007 2:19 PM
felipe said:

I agree with the comments on the Apple TV and Airport Extreme base station.
But can you really say that you were not impressed when the mac mini was released, and you could see a fully functional mac in a few square inchs? The simplicity was the exact key element on the design.
I agree though that the whole Mac "family" needs a little more "wow", since it hasn't been redesigned for a while... hoping to see some news soon on the Mac line, and also in Leopard. Vista has raised the bar with Aero (not defending the OS, just saying it looks good!). Will Apple take back the lead or will it keep on Aqua?

April 10, 2007 2:20 PM
Jamie Reid said:

To be fair there is only so many hours in Jonny Ive's days.

The 2nd gen iMac is a work of art and a joy to use. It's form factor is a quantum leap above any iPod or the iPhone (which I plan to purchase). It is the beautiful older child who dies too young but never got ugly.

I was never a "fan" (gedit?) of the Powermac G5 or the "Mac Pro" - same body different brain abomination.

When push comes to shove the iPods are just ever decreasing little rectangles.

All beauty fades in the end. Nevertheless bring on iMac v4.0 I do hope it's revolutionary...the speed of my credit card coming is directly proportional to the beauty of the design!

April 10, 2007 3:25 PM
Jack said:

To people who have been in the Mac world for years, perhaps things seem boring, but having switched almost exactly a year ago, there is no boredom, and since 50% of new macs are bought by switchers...

I think their lineup right now is exquisite...bordering on perfection.

Given that is the case, they will probably introduce a new look this June. :)

April 10, 2007 8:24 PM
Solo said:

You are absolutely right. The passage in "The 2nd Coming of Steve Jobs" is probably a big clue. RSJ has a spartan aesthetic and all the new stuff fits his personal style.

I mean, can you imagine Jobs having a Dalmation iMac in his own house? Otoh, all the newer gear _does_ fit, even the giant toasters.

Part of the problem is that the other manufacturers have abdicated the whole industrial design battle. Sony used to have a real point of view, and ThinkPads have always had a nice Louis of Boston sharpness to them (esp the keyboards).

April 11, 2007 12:52 AM
tayker Author Profile Page said:

I completely agree with this Andy and couldn't have said it better. I would also add that the software is headed in the same direction. For example, people mock the Zune but the interface is pretty slick, from the menu system to the customizable backgrounds.

April 11, 2007 10:27 AM
snow said:

well, haven't heard this in a while. let me know when to shed a tear......
How about the fact that mac mini/airport/appleTV form factors should fit in the living room, between your other audio/video gear. keep them slik [thin] and small. stacking them up looks good as well. don't want to think what would have happen if they designed another airport spaceship... then you would cry about how it does not fit.
Mac Pros? you have a yes, un-updated, but super computer, super cool design - i remember how the G5 made me feel when it came out....the "i want it now" factor we love so much. so - as much as we want new designs in our macs, they will arrive as always, in time.
how can you say they do not up their design? they just made another design leap..... anybody heard of the iphone?

April 11, 2007 11:47 PM

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