We’ve wondered aloud in the past who could possibly fill Steve Jobs’s sneakers when the CEO finally has to step down. Outsider? Insider? Marketing flack? Design genius? The questions are too many. But now we’ve learned of a super secret project enacted by Jobs to develop the perfect successor…in his basement.
Jobs himself confirmed his pet project but would not provide technical details.Key ingredients to the project appear to be Coors Lite, Pork-Free Rinds, Funyuns, Old Milwaukee, and Steve Wozniak, though “some sources insist the entire thing is a ruse for the two men to get away from their wives.”“Suffice it to say that my replacement will be constructed in my image and will exist as a fully functional agent to continue to enact my will upon the physical plane,” Jobs said when reached for comment.
“It may also shoot death rays from its eyes. Something I always wanted to be able to do. Just…thought I’d add that.”
How long, then, before Steve Jobs iBots are widely available? You could have Steve vacuum the living room, do the grocery shopping, and pick up your dry-cleaning. Of course, all the while it will slowly ingratiate itself with your friends and family, its Reality Distortion Field cranked to 11, until one morning you open your dresser to find that your entire wardrobe has been replaced with black turtlenecks and jeans. And that’s the last thing you ever see…
Sweet, where can I get one of these? heh.
Nice graphic! I should have had that!
Graphic? I totally took that picture at, er, Macworld, yeah.
Actually, how cool would that be if Steve just busted out the laser eye beams in the middle of the keynote? "Just one more thing....zzzzzzz..." "Oh God, nooooo..."
Just remember, like at Sea World, you don't want to sit too close to the front...