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February 5, 2007

humor

“I hate Macs” piece = hilarious

Posted Feb. 5, ’07, 8:39 AM PT by Dan Moren
Category | Apple » Humor

Charlie BrookerI’m sure there are plenty of Mac fans across the globe who’ll to be seething over Charlie Brooker’s Guardian piece. Primarily because of the following paragraph:

I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don’t use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.
Look, I’m not angry about this—I’m too busy laughing. Maybe it’s just something about the British accent.

I’m not particularly familiar with Brooker, but his Wikipedia entry says “his humour tends to be savage and profane, with some surreal elements and a consistent satirical pessimism, stretching occasionally towards outright misanthropy.” And come on, can you really not be amused by his description of Myst as “the most pompous and boring videogame of all time, a plodding, dismal ‘adventure’ in which you wandered around solving tedious puzzles in a rubbish magic kingdom apparently modelled on pretentious album covers” or his insistence that “the only way to have fun with a Mac is to poke its insufferable owner in the eye”?

A full explanation of satire is obviously far beyond the scope of a blog post, but I will say that it’s the inherent element of truth that makes it funny. And as for you red-faced folks who are even now preparing to type angry denunciations of Brooker, I refer you to the words of John Cusack in Grosse Pointe Blank: “Do you *really* believe that there’s some stored up conflict that exists between us? There *is* no us. *We* don’t exist. So who do you wanna hit, man? It’s not me.”

Okay, I took offense at the suggestion that Doctor Who would use a PC. Rubbish. One need look no farther than Leopard to see the truth: Time Machine? Mmm? Mmm?

So before the Mac community decides to collectively have an aneurysm, may I mildly suggest that you read the entire piece from beginning to end with an open mind. Especially all the way to the end. Trust me.


11 Comments

MacGeek Pro Author Profile Page said:

Dan, that very funny. Thank you for making my Monday a little brighter with humor. My Monday was not off to a good start when I slipped on the ice on my to class.

(Don't worry, my MacBook is fine. It was tucked away in it's cozy backpack compartment. I'm fine, by the way, thanks for the concern.)

Anyway, I also had to laugh at your reference to Grosse Pointe Blank, which I bought on DVD not too long ago. Great movie.

February 5, 2007 9:33 AM
MacGeek Pro Author Profile Page said:

Whoops, the first sentence in my previous post should read "Dan, that was very funny."

We need to be able to edit comments for a couple minutes, like on Digg. Or I just need to do better proofreading. It's Monday. :S

February 5, 2007 9:35 AM
Brant Sears said:

Considering the state of his TARDIS (old and perpetually on the fritz), the Doctor might very well use a PC - probably one running CPM.

February 5, 2007 11:19 AM
MonkeyT said:

"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win."
-Ghandi

Seems like we're inching into step three.

February 5, 2007 11:20 AM
jayH said:

yeah... i think i lost my sense of humour... i dind't find that funny at all... maybe because of all the offensive language he uses to describe us, dunno... and to be honest, i don't want the mac to dominate the market. i want apple to sell just as much macs as it's necessarie to survive. so when people poke me saying i don't have a computer, i have a toy, i just laugh and say: you're right... continue to use your PC if it makes you happy... i'll just play with my toy.

i pitty those who have no idea what a stress free computer experience is. just chat with PC users over msn for half an hour and it'll make you more than happy you chose apple over dell or HP

February 5, 2007 11:26 AM
Larry V said:

First I read Bill Gates' recent interview, then this! And the sun's shining and it's a pleasant 19 degrees here in Boston. It's been a great day!

February 5, 2007 11:30 AM
DarthMac said:

I didn't bother reading the article but did check out the Wiki link.

I'm a Brit and I've never heard of the guy but have heard of most of the people referenced/mentioned in the Wiki link which may give you some idea of how well know he is.

February 5, 2007 12:59 PM
kevlev said:

i actually didn't mind this article very much, even though past ones have made me considerably mad, but i just wish people would realize that macs have 2 button mice now!!! count 'em, 2!

February 5, 2007 5:05 PM
Boz Kay said:

Totally Brilliant. I hate PCs and love Macs. . . . Sometimes I want to poke both Mac and PC users in the eye.

February 6, 2007 1:16 AM
Nick said:

One of the key things about the piece is that he ends with the "unreliable" PC crashing in a stream of letters and numbers. But quite apart from that, he does have an extremely good point. the recasting of the PC/Mac ads for the UK with the (very funny in Peep Show) Mitchell and Webb is a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE own goal for Apple. Quite apart from reinforcing the concept that PCs are for business and Macs are only for 'fun' (does this mean that Apple have now officially given up on the business market), the ad identifies Macs with Webb's character in Peep Show, who is a totally feckless, conscienceless, work-shy loser. It's almost enough to make me move to Windows - really! The advertising exec responsible for this should be disembowelled, seriously.

February 6, 2007 5:08 AM
Boz Kay said:

Nick, I totally agree. The UK ads make me want to poke the Mac guy in the eye.

February 6, 2007 7:51 AM

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