I've just gotten word that a new product will be shipping soon, and I feel pretty confident in stating that it might possibly be the most important product ever to ship. Certainly, it will be something that every man, woman, and child will want to own, or at least think about owning, or possibly not own at all if it turns out they're not interested in the product. But I can't imagine they wouldn't be.
When this product ships-and I assure you, I've never been more certain of anything my life that it will ship soon enough-it will totally revolutionize the way you think about products like this one. What does the product do, specifically? Is it hardware or software? Some sort of new computer? A handheld device with video and telephony capabilities? Or something else entirely. Yes-something like that. But it'll shake your beliefs to their foundations, let me tell you.
Is it an Apple product? Hey, you didn't hear that from me. If you want to infer that I'm talking about an Apple product, that's your right as an American. I'm just talking about a product from a company that could be Apple. Don't put words in my mouth, pal.
I'd love to tell you more, but I've probably already said enough to compromise my sources and put my access at risk. Apple's spies are everywhere-they'd love to catch me talking about a product that may not even be theirs, and if they do, there'll be hell to pay. Oh-someone's coming right now. I'm going to talk in a loud voice about a different subject altogether to throw them off the scent…YES, I DID WATCH THE CHARGER GAME LAST NIGHT. IT SURE WAS EXCITING WHEN THEY SCORED THAT TOUC… OK, they're gone now.
Look, I realize that my credibility as a guy who posts things at the Internet is a precious commodity. So it is with utmost confidence that I say this mystery product which might be from Apple though it also might not is going to be announced… right… nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-(Anything shipping yet? No? Drat.)-nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnow.
Well, something probably shipped while I was typing that. And I'm sure it's cool enough to make my headline accurate.
Sorry if it didn't live up to your expectations. It certainly wasn't my intention to write something vague enough for you cultists to easily misinterpret-that's really your failing, not mine. Besides, in all this hubbub over what did or didn't get announced, let's not lose sight of the most important thing about this exercise:
Made you look.
Canadians have rights too!!!
Sorry to disappoint you but news sources around the globe (except for CBC) are quoting studies and regurgitating facts that indicate this product will fail.
"Canadians have rights too!!!"
Oh, sure. Sure they do.
In Canada...
Woooo, don't start that!
Canadians are Americans too, North-Americans to be right. Is it a matter of language that American = inhabitants of the United States. But it gives also the feeling for """some people""" from U.S. that Americas are all theirs, from south to north (when it's not the entire world!).
So, just keep it the Apple way here and lets talk as respectable Mac Users.
Thanks ;)
Kids, stay away from drugs . . .
What, Phil-no picture?
My right as an American? I'm a Brit!
Jeez, either Phillip's 'real' job is producing press releases for government agencies, or his posting is an early April Fool's joke. Could it say less with so many words?
And yeah, I'm from Canada - that great big country above the US...
You have to follow the links to understand the satire. I realize that may be hard for some of our cold Canadian friends.
We kid Canada. We kid because we love. And because you're just so darned polite!