June 9, 2008
WWDC predictions that are serious business
Posted Jun. 9, ’08, 6:40 AM PT by Derik DeLong
Category | Apple » Events
Ah, it’s getting warm out, so it’s time for WWDC and the WWDC keynote. You need to know what Apple’s going to release ASAP, even if it’s a few hours early. Unsubstantiated rumors, hearsay, and fiction are why you visit all those sites.
Let me break down what you can expect. First, everyone keeps talking about this 3G iPhone thing. Apple’s gonna kick it up a notch. The iPhone G4 will premier. Later versions will run overly hot and have fans that run way too loud. Apple will try to rectify this with replacement fans, but they won’t really be any better.
Next, everyone expects the next version of OS X to be announced. Support for PowerPC Macs is thought to be going away. The truth is, support for all Macs is going away. The next version will only run on generic Intel hardware. Yup. It’s really going to be Windows with a special theme. It’s going to run on top of Windows 7, so prepare to wait about a decade for its release.
That’s the latest from the mothership. Have your credit cards warmed up and ready to go.
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The new iPhone will have a built-in Taser!! When you see those annoying Verizon users showing off their iPhone wanna-be Samsung, LG with retractable keyboard, ZAP!!!!! fire your NEW Taser iPhone!
Every time you start your new iPhone, a holographic 3D image of Steve will form above the touch screen to tell you about new Apple products.
You can even get a 3D holographic screensaver that goes, "Help Me Obiwan, you are my only hope." The screensaver won't disappear if you jailbreak this new iPhone.