News, info, and opinion by Mac users, for Mac users.

April 26, 2007

business

Apple Board to Steve: “We got your back, yo”

Posted Apr. 26, ’07, 8:01 AM PT by Dan Moren
Category | Business

Board of DirectorzWhat’s a board to do when a former member of their posse points the finger at their number one homey? Your options are: a) take justice into their own hands, vigilante-style; b) launch into an inspired musical number, complete with pyrotechnics and background dancers; or c) issue a strongly-worded statement. If you said ‘a’ or ‘b’ then boy do I have a screenplay for you.

Sadly, the Apple board of directors (consisting of Arthur “Gene-Splicer” Levinson, Al “The Bull” Gore, Jerry “Duke” York, Mickey “Mind this gap” Drexler, Bill “No, not the actor” Campbell, and Eric “I totally own you, your house, your car, and oh yeah, your dog” Schmidt) opted for ‘c,’ releasing this paragraph shortly before yesterday’s quarterly results:

We are not going to enter into a public debate with Fred Anderson or his lawyer. Steve Jobs cooperated fully with Apple’s independent investigation and with the government’s investigation of stock option grants at Apple. The SEC investigated the matter thoroughly and its complaint speaks for itself, in terms of what it says, what it does not say, who it charges, and who it does not charge. We have complete confidence in the conclusions of Apple’s independent investigation, and in Steve’s integrity and his ability to lead Apple.
That enough reading between the lines for you, Freddy? It’s time to turn in your “friendship 4EVER” bracelet; the board’s already had you Photoshopped out of all those old vacation pictures.

Just remember, in the dog-eat-dog boardrooms of Silicon Valley, it’s bro’s before ex-CFOs.


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