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March 4, 2008

business

Apple annual shareholder meeting runs gamut of emotions

Posted Mar. 4, ’08, 12:49 PM PT by Dan Moren
Category | Business

JobsIf corporate governance gets you high on life, then you may want to prepare yourself for the unmitigated joy brought to you by Apple’s annual shareholder meeting. There were laughter and tears, rapture and heartache, conflict and resolution.

No, sorry, wait: that was last week’s episode of Lost. My mistake.

Here’s the news filtering down the wire from the big shindig. CEO Steve “the Hammer” Jobs said Apple had no plans to initiate stock buybacks or issue dividends, despite a bank balance of around $18.5 billion—that money will instead go to the construction of a giant statue of Steve Jobs that will stand astride San Francisco bay, holding an iPod aloft to the masses.

On the topic of the iPhone, COO Tim “the Tornado” Cook said Apple planned to meet the mark of 10 million iPhones in 2008, and that they would be entering the Asian market later this year. When questioned specifically about the iPhone’s presence in India and China, Cook replied that it would be there “one day.” He may or may not have followed that with a wistful sigh—reports vary.

Shareholders also passed a motion that will give them an advisory vote on executive compensation, allowing them to have input on what the company’s top personnel are paid. Said Jobs, “I’m hoping that the ‘say on pay’ proposal will help me with my $1 a year.” That comment was reputedly followed by a rimshot from CFO Peter “Opie” Oppenheimer, filling the role of Kevin Eubanks to Jobs’s Leno.

Apple’s board of directors was also up for reelection, one proxy firm was suggesting withholding votes for board members Jerome York, Arthur Levinson, and—say it ain’t so!—Al Gore, citing the fact that 25% of shareholders withheld votes last year. Not entirely surprisingly, the three board members in question all happened to be members of audit and compensation committees that touched upon issues related to the questionable backdating of stock options. Despite that, all board members were reelected to their position, where they promptly decided to reinstate their practice of playing a special version of shuffleboard with all pucks replaced by iPhones. Because they can.

Finally, Jobs was asked about potential successors for the inevitable day when he will no longer run the company. Declining to mention specific people, Jobs said “We’ve got great talent, and I think the board would have really great choices.” He then casually dabbed some olive oil upon Jonathan Ive’s forehead and heavily implied that if the vote didn’t go the way he wanted, he would belittle and demean the board in this life and the next.

Boy, sounds like an action-packed day of fun and surprises. I can’t wait until next year’s shareholder meeting, where I hope to ask Steve why he doesn’t love me anymore. And then get tasered by security.


1 Comments

Aayush Arya said:
When questioned specifically about the iPhone’s presence in India and China, Cook replied that it would be there “one day.”

Oh come on, Cook. We all know that's never happening. Let's just cut the pretense, shall we? :(

March 4, 2008 10:31 PM

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